Me on Luskentyre Beach proving I’m human.
Today, I got dazzled by a big, sparkly welcome sign and joined something online. It looked nice.
“Let me in,” I said.
“Yes,” said the gatekeeper. “We welcome like-minded pilgrims looking for a place of rest and nourishment.”
“Great. Let me in.”
“We offer accommodation, companionship, and safety. Spiritual support is optional.”
“Perfect. Let me in.” I’m pretty much sold by now and eager to join the party.
“Before you can come in, you must register.”
“Okay. Where’s the registration desk?”
“Here it is.”
That was quick. “I’d like to register, please.”
“Great. First, we must establish that you are human.”
“Okay. How do we do that, exactly?”
“You must identify all the fire hydrants on the beach.”
“I’m Scottish. We don’t do fire hydrants. We’ve got plenty of water.”
“Identify the traffic lights on this beach. You must select them all.”
This guy’s a real sourpuss.
Click. Click. Click. Click.
“Identify the traffic lights on this beach. You must select them all.”
Click. Click. Click. Click.
“Identify the traffic lights on this beach. You must select them all.”
Oh look—there’s a tiny sliver of traffic light in square five. Now I’m determined, irritated and cranky. Isn’t that proof enough?
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.
@ Copyright 2026 Steve Gillies. All rights reserved.
Steve Gillies 
Leave a comment